The backlogged family courts are asking parents to try and resolve their child disputes themselves, using mediation in family law to reach agreements. 

When relationships break down and there are children involved, coming to an agreement on who they should live with and how much access the other parent should have can be incredibly difficult. Disputes involving children are, not surprisingly, common in divorce and separation. Both parties may want the children to live with them and are often unable to accept that they might only have limited time with them during the week or even month. One side might even want to take the children and move somewhere far away, making it difficult for the other party to see them. 

Cases involving children make up a high number of proceedings at the Family Court in England and Wales, as feuding couples ask a judge to make an order for their child arrangements. But the courts are backlogged because of coronavirus and they and solicitors are asking people to try and resolve the matter themselves, with mediation in family law one effective way of going about it. 

If it’s a case of sorting out who a child or children live with and granting fair access to the other party, child disputes should be resolved outside of court, the president of the family division has said. Sir Andrew McFarlane said in March that it was “worrying” that about 40% of children cases coming before the court were matters that could be resolved outside it, as long as they weren’t urgent cases that put children’s welfare at risk.  

“Where there are no issues of domestic abuse or child protection, parents ought to be able, or encouraged, to make arrangements for their own child, rather than come to a court of law and a judge to resolve the issues,” he said.

Couples who are splitting, whether to separate or go ahead with a divorce, can make their own arrangements regarding their children if they’re able to without discussions breaking down and if they’re talking in the first place. If they can enter discussions about their children, they will need to decide three basic aspects: who the children will live with, how much time the children will have with each parent and financial support — who’s paying child maintenance, and how much?

If both sides can come to an amicable agreement about this, there’s no need to do anything further, and they can all get on with their lives. For peace of mind, it’s possible to make such an agreement more formal by creating a Parenting Plan that sets out the details and what the various arrangements are. If the agreement breaks down at some point, and a dispute arises over the children that does go to court, it would be beneficial to have such a plan that the judge could see.

But as we know, many couples who are splitting and have children are unable to agree who the children should live with and the amount of access the other party should have. Clearly, no one wants to head to court and have their matter resolved there; it’s often a long, expensive and stressful route with lengthy delays and can sometimes lead to heightened tensions instead of lowering and resolving them. 

As the courts are asking couples to try to resolve their child arrangements matters themselves, meditation can be the answer in cases where they can’t agree on those arrangements. It’s important to keep in mind that the mediator will be a neutral party and won’t take sides. In child disputes, their job is to help both parties reach an accord regarding the care of the children and time with them, and one that’s in the interest of the children and not squabbling parents. 

A mediator — often a solicitor or barrister trained in meditation — can improve communication between both sides, as it can often be the case that parents have stopped talking or are barely communicating about what should happen with the children. The mediator will facilitate talks and make it easier to come up with arrangements for a child or children. The process is generally much quicker than going to the courts to resolve the matter and a lot less expensive too.

Mediation to resolve child disputes isn’t just about sitting down in a room with a mediator and the other parent. There are various types, and which one is used depends on the circumstances the parties find themselves in. If both parents are on good terms following their split and speaking to each other, getting together with a mediator to hammer out an agreement about their children shouldn’t be a problem. This is known as classic mediation, and it can be resolved in as little as one session of an hour or two — although it can often take around three or more sessions to reach an agreement. 

It’s often the case, however, that the parents’ relationship has entirely broken down and not only are they not talking to each other, but they can’t stand to be in the same room as the other parent. This is where shuttle meditation comes in, and it just means that the parents are in different rooms and the mediator moves, or shuttles, between the two, conveying the concerns and wishes of one party to the other. As this kind of mediation progresses, one or both parties may begin to feel more relaxed and they might wish to be in the same room, so it then becomes classic mediation. 

Some parents may want their solicitor present at mediation to make sure they get the kind of outcome they desire, and it’s certainly possible for a family lawyer to attend. However, it’s not all that common. It’s simply known as mediation with solicitors present. Another kind, hybrid mediation, combines aspects of family and commercial mediation — used when one party doesn’t wish to be present but their solicitor is there, representing them. Children can be involved in mediation, too; it’s known as child-inclusive mediation and the mediator will meet with the child, but it depends on their age and other factors. 

Using one of these mediation methods to create an agreement on children’s care will allow you to stay out of court and get a quick resolution while also saving money.

If you’d like to know more about mediation in family law regarding children agreements, contact the experts at KMJ Solicitors now.