It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. With these tips from some of the best divorce lawyers in London, you can keep your chances of a successful marriage as high as possible.
With divorce rates higher than ever, divorce solicitors in London like us see a constant footfall coming through our doors. Nobody wants a marriage to end this way, so we’ve put together our top five statistical reasons of what causes divorce, to try and give you a better chance of resisting scratching that seven-year itch. Some may even surprise you, as they’re not as simple as resisting your neighbour’s coquettish advances.
However long you’ve been married — whether you’re just down the aisle or thirty years in — there’s always room to learn and improve. Keep these tips in mind to make sure your relationship is a fine wine improving with age; not a supermarket-brand Pinot Grigio that turns to vinegar.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
We’ve said communicate three times, as it’s undoubtedly the foundation which can make or break any relationship. It’s cited overwhelmingly as the most common grounds for divorce, followed closely by conflict resolution issues. If you go into a relationship thinking you have strong communication, never let that falter.
As you grow and change together, so will your relationship and your communication needs. When you first get to know each other, you’re constantly spending time together. However, as you marry, have children and fall into a routine, spending time together as a couple becomes secondary to the life you’re both living. Make sure to air grievances, spend time alone together and address issues as they arrive. Otherwise, years from now, your issues could return to confront you in the form of a London divorce lawyer.
Keep Social Media Out of Your Relationship
According to a survey by the magazine She Knows, social media is being cited as a reason in one in seven divorces. Social networking platforms like Facebook are breeding grounds for jealousy and misunderstanding; from liking a rival’s photo to messaging an ex one night when you’ve had a glass of wine too many.
The best divorce lawyers in London have been practising for many years and have seen divorce reasons come and go. The meteoric rise in social media usage, however, suggests that it won’t be leaving us alone anytime soon. Social media clauses are a very real part of prenups and will soon become far more common, thanks to our relationship now not having just one third wheel like a flatmate, but thousands that are only a touch of a button away in the form of Facebook friends.
Sacrifice the Cigarettes, or Sacrifice Your Marriage
If you smoke, you’re not only putting your health at risk, but your marriage, too. Smokers have a rate of divorce that’s increased by 53% because of their little habit. With smoking burning holes in our bank accounts, our lungs and now our marriages, do we really need more incentives to quit? Apparently so. If you’re a smoker and getting divorced, the courts can choose to limit your access to your children, due to the risk you’re putting them at through passive smoking. As London divorce lawyers, we find ourselves advising our clients to quit smoking, however stressful, if they’re finding that child care arrangements aren’t going their way.
Don’t Laugh Off Your Partner’s Issues With Your Snoring
Snoring may be an item of comedy to many, but sleep loss is a form of torture — making years married to someone who makes the room rumble hardly pleasant. Snoring is the number one medical reason cited for divorce and some studies claim it’s as high as number three on the most common reasons overall.
If your partner complains of your snoring, make sure you try and fix it before they lose too much sleep over it. Years of grouchiness from sleep loss, added to by the sleep loss of children and the honeymoon period being over, will make it a far less adorable trait by the time your marriage certificate starts to curl at the edges with age.
Keep Your In-Laws Sweet — and Suffer Them in Return
The statistics are hard to pin down on this one, but the in-laws are to blame for anything between one in ten and one in three divorces. It’s worth trying to get in their good books early on if you plan on staying in your spouse’s lives. The meddling mother-in-law is only ever comedy value when she’s on TV or someone else’s. Once she’s in your life, you might feel very differently.
Take time early on to bond with your in-laws and it will repay you a thousand times over. In-laws can be anything from a handy babysitter, to a voice on your side if you hit a bump in your marriage, to just good company at Christmas, not company you dread. After all, if they made the person you fell in love with and married, they can’t be all bad, can they?
There’s something to be said for learning from the mistakes of others. By listening to the things which have sent thousands of people through the doors of London divorce lawyers, you can learn, grow and change. With a little work, you can make sure your marriage will be strong for years to come.