If you’re in the process of a divorce, then the prospect of the New Year may not be much to look forward to. Here are some New Year’s Resolutions from our divorce solicitors to make things a little easier.
2017 Divorce Resolutions From Our Team of Divorce Solicitors
Divorces can be messy, emotional, expensive, and time-consuming. If your 2016 has ended with your divorce being filed, then it’s highly likely that the thought of 2017 isn’t a happy one. From reconnecting with old friends to starting new hobbies and rediscovering things you used to love, there are so many ways to you turn your divorce into something to — if not look forward to — then at least not dread. Here are our top New Year’s Resolutions to make your divorce this year a little bit easier.
1. I Will Be Respectful of My Ex In Front of the Children
This isn’t to say don’t be truthful in front of your children. It’s important that children understand what’s happening when their parents divorce. Crucially, they need to know that it’s not their fault. What you must avoid is putting your child in the middle and badmouthing your ex in front of them.
Yes, you and your ex-partner may both have made mistakes, but they’re still the loving parent of your child. As tempting as it might be, resist the urge to get your child to take sides and separate your ex’s role as your husband or wife from their role as a parent.
2. I Will Look After Myself and My Needs
Divorce is incredibly stressful, and everyone has their own experiences. You may have a friend who’s also gone through divorce, and while it can be cathartic to get angry together about your ex’s, in the long run this isn’t going to help you heal. Your ex isn’t going to change, what happened won’t change, and after a while this will just put strain on your friendships.
It might seem like you have no time, but making an hour in your week to see a therapist and work through your anger and grief will make everything else in your life far more manageable. Your divorce solicitors may be able to recommend a good therapy service to help you to process your emotions and to help you move on.
3. I Will Move Forwards With My Life and Accept the Past
There’s a huge amount of acceptance involved in divorce. Acceptance that your marriage hasn’t worked, acceptance that the past is the past. There’s also acceptance of you new financial situation and possibly the acceptance that your home is no longer your home. Starting small by embracing the changes that empower you and give you purpose will make the harder changes easier to accept.
If you took your partner’s last name, then changing back to yours can be powerful to reclaim your feeling of identity. However, check with your solicitor of family law that it’s not too soon for this. Taking up sports and hobbies, joining book clubs, reconnecting with old friends and going down the pub or for a meal with them on a Friday night can give your life new purpose, and help keep you occupied.
4. I Will Work Out Child Care Arrangements With My Family Law Solicitors
While not seeing your children every day may not be your ideal situation, many parents have found that a divorce helps them with their parenting. Not having a stressful marriage in the background leaves you free to focus on what your child needs. Having weekends or weekdays free for yourself while your ex looks after your children means you can take time for you and refocus, leaving you with more energy for your child’s needs when they return.
Your family law solicitors will be able to advise you on what’s best for your child, and help you and your ex come to an amicable arrangement that suits both of you. Instead of thinking of the time you want be spending with your child or children, think of the positives. You can have weekends with friends, focus on your career, or start to travel again. When you do have time with your children, you can give them your undivided attention.
Whatever your New Year’s Resolutions, make sure you’re kind and forgiving to yourself in 2017. Taking care of yourself will ultimately give you more strength and energy for your children, your friends, and your career.