Divorce places a lot of strain on those involved. The process is made more challenging when the two parties hold anger and ill feeling towards one another. It may be easier said than done, but remaining civil during a divorce is the best way to ensure that pain is kept to a minimum. Follow our divorce advice to see if you could benefit from keeping things amicable.
Avoiding bad-mouthing your spouse in front of your children
As tempting as it might be, avoid talking negatively about your spouse in front of your children. This affects them more than you might think and any messages that are passed on to your spouse could lead to arguments. You might be trying to win your child over by bad-mouthing your spouse, but think carefully before doing this.
You should also keep your negotiations away from your children. Divorce affects younger children differently to adolescents, but both experience anxiety and stress. The uncertainty of losing parental stability is worsened when those two parents are constantly bickering in front of them.
Don’t use divorce to get revenge
Although the circumstances of your separation might have caused anger, don’t use divorce to get revenge on your spouse. As divorce lawyers, we advise against trying to “get even” or make amends for the past. In reality, a good-natured divorce is better for everyone involved. It will cause you both less stress, leave you in a more financially stable position and will not burn the bridges you took so long to build.
Give yourself an outlet
Getting wrapped up in the divorce process can leave you feeling like there’s no escape. Negotiating a financial settlement — and in some cases, child arrangements — tends to take over your life. One of our most invaluable pieces of divorce advice is to find an outlet. This could be a hobby, such as gardening, or a physical activity, such as cycling.
Anything that gives you a mental break will be of benefit, as long as you let yourself switch off. Having a hobby has been shown to add years to your life, so getting away from the stress of divorce will undoubtedly be beneficial.
Find someone to speak to
Without friends or family to talk to, you can feel like your whole life is focused on your divorce. This can lead to feelings of claustrophobia, making it more likely that you’ll get angry during negotiations. Having someone to chat with, regardless of the topic, can prevent you from feeling the whole world is against you. Taking your mind off of the divorce can be therapeutic, so don’t be afraid to let your hair down once in a while.
If you don’t have a strong support network or would like professional help, consider hiring a therapist. They are trained to guide people through times of hardship and will make suggestions to improve your life. Your family lawyer is another person you can talk with, but bear in mind they will be busy with the formal negotiations.
At KMJ family solicitors, our approach is to listen to you. We believe that communication is the best way to settle a complex matter such as divorce.
Hire a Fitzrovia divorce lawyer for expert divorce advice
Going through a divorce without a family lawyer adds to the stress of the process. There is a significant amount of paperwork and admin involved, leaving you with less free time if you choose to go it alone. When combined with full-time jobs and other commitments, a divorce without a family lawyer can be incredibly stressful for both of you. Don’t risk discussions boiling over and affecting your future relationship by not hiring a divorce lawyer.
A family solicitor in Fitzrovia will also take charge of the negotiation process, ensuring you get the settlement you deserve. Without a divorce lawyer, you must do the debating yourself, which can get heated. When money and child arrangements are involved, discussions can soon become fractious.